Verses 16-18: We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
John begins verse 16 with the declarative statement that we know love. In each of the previous two verses he stated that we know about death and murder by our learning and understanding of the Biblical doctrines. But now he uses a different Greek word for know that refers to a knowledge gained by experience.
W.E. Vine declared that this means “we have come to know love in its greatest and highest expression,”1 as it was exhibited by Our Lord when He laid down His life on our behalf. We know this love not only by our understanding of the facts surrounding His work of atonement—His suffering and death on the cross—but we continue to know His love being recipients of the eternal salvation that He secured for us. And we continue to experience His perfect love throughout our time on earth and into the eternal state. Just as salvation is provided by grace, the attributes of His love are implemented by His grace provision for every believer. Therefore, Our Lord remains as our ultimate example of how we should express His sacrificial love to others.
Duty-Bound
Next John emphatically states that we ought to be continually motivated to lay down our lives for the brethren. The Greek word ought indicates a moral obligation that we are compelled to carry out. Thus we are duty-bound to demonstrate the same type of love which Our Lord demonstrated, to lay down our lives for other believers. This is not an isolated requirement, for John has previously stated that “the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked” (1 John 2:6). By doing so we observe the supreme characteristic of His sacrificial love: “for even Christ did not please Himself” (Romans 15:3a). Even the Apostle Peter proclaimed likewise,
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. (1 Peter 2:21)
It is important that we understand that our life in Christ is not all about ourselves. Yet, we must endeavor to advance in our own relationship with the Lord, just as the Apostle Paul instructed us to be renovating (renewing) our minds with Biblical principles for Spirit-led living and then presenting our bodies for His “service of worship” (Romans 12:1-2). By this, we are to strive to do our part within the Body of Christ, assuring that it will function in order to glorify Christ—even if necessary to lay down our lives for our fellow believers and be able to rejoice as well (cf. Philippians 2:17-18).
Practical Application
In verse 17, John provides a realistic example of how to demonstrate genuine love for the brethren, not merely by words, but by actions. When we have what others are in need of we are not to “close our heart” and lock them out—we are duty-bound to help them. James made issue of this same point:
If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? (James 2:15–16)
This would be an absurdity. And as John rightly asks “how does the love of God abide in him?” It would be equally ludicrous to stumble upon a beaten and bloodied believer (similar to the Good Samaritan, Luke 10:30ff) and believe to be showing love and compassion by saying “God bless you, I’ll pray that you find your way to better health,” and then go on your merry way. How would this conform to laying down ones’ life for the brethren? This may be an extreme example, but laying down one’s life refers to practical things also, like the little inconveniences imposed upon us that take time out of our busy day. And if this does not constitute love for my brother, it’s not difficult to conclude that John is correct, that I do not have the same love that God has abiding in me.
Love in Action
Now in verse 18, John urges us not to demonstrate love in word or with tongue. We may question what he means by word and tongue. Word infers to the content of what is spoken which originates from a persons’ thoughts. The effectiveness of words will be determined if they are grounded in Biblical truth (Proverbs 23:7). They may be warm and comforting, but if they are not accompanied by kindhearted and caring actions, then that type of love is irrelevant and obnoxious like “a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1).
He indicates the tongue because it is the organ that delivers those thoughts. If the intention behind the words is to shut out compassionate love to the one in need, then what James stated about the tongue fittingly applies: “It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison,” out of which can issue forth blessings and cursing (James 3:8-10; cf. Psalm 140:3). However, James asserts that a perfect man, one who is controlled by the Holy Spirit, is able to control his tongue as well as his whole body (James 1:26; 3:2).
John would be remiss if he neglected to give us the Biblical approach on how we are to love. But he did, instructing us on how we are to love: “in deed and truth.” Here is a case where actions will speak louder than mere words.2 Our actions of compassion are to emanate from genuine truth, not from false, self-serving motivations. Genuine truth can only be learned from the Word of God—the only source of absolute truth (John 17:17).
Those who fail to heed John’s exhortation to actively love the brethren in truth demonstrate what the Apostle Paul accurately stated:
But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus (Ephesians 4:20–21)
To be taught in Him means we have learned His commands:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34–35; cf. Matthew 19:19b)
Our Challenge
We need to examine ourselves to determine if we are genuinely willing to "lay down our lives for the brethren" and to actively obey His command to love in deed and in truth.
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[1] Vine, W. E. (1996). Collected Writings of W.E. Vine. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1 John 3:15.
[2] Robertson, A.T. (1933). Word Pictures in the New Testament. Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1 John 3:18.
© 2025 David M. Rossi
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